"Its not a big issue" he said, I was holding Joshua on my hip and staring back at my husband in the late afternoon, outside our rental house. "actually" he continued "the only issues with the car are very little". I nodded, adjusting the baby. This may have been more convincing if we weren't having this conversation while he was zip tying our front car bumper into place. Yes you read that right. the car bumper of our Toyota vios had fallen off while I was leaving the ministry grounds that afternoon. There had been a catalyst of course, I 'slightly' bumped into a rock while making a three point turn which resulted in the front of the car falling off. All the men on the property came running, stray screws were found and a "remedy" was made to put it in place to at least get me home. It was official, the car was literally falling apart. Nestor evaluated it upon my return. Silently he went to work, finding some more screws and then gathering his trusty zip ties he twisted and tied the thing on more securely, all while declaring "its not a big issue". Have I mentioned that Nestor is an optimist?
Needless to say the Anggowos' needed a new car. I had purchased the third hand vehicle back in 2021 and it had been a real blessing, but after almost 5 years of rough roading it to villages, the kilometers getting so high that it actually went back to zero! (I didn't even know that was possible), we do a LOT of driving in this ministry. Many trips to the auto shop, scratches and dints, and then the A/C giving out (it would only work properly if the sun wasn't shinning) the car seemed to be screaming to "Just let me go!" and we were becoming inclined to agree, as we no longer felt comfortable driving outside Tabuk. So we prayed, and prayed, we prayed every day for a car and after some patience God answered and provided us with a Toyota Raize. a car that can handle rough roads much better than a vios. Praise God!! Such a blessing and no more zip ties (at least in the car). We feel comfortable being able to drive distances and jut recently were able to attend a training for Nestor's translation team. It has been wonderful for both of our ministries, being able to transport and and be more mobile is HUGE, especially with a baby.
 |
| Joshua approving of the car |
Both Nestor and I continue to be busy with the ministries. I, behind my desk working on spreadsheets and spending time with the girls any chance I can, and Nestor behind his desk working on orally translating the New Testament into 'literally' his mother's tongue, the Kalingan Language of Sumadel. I never thought I would be doing deskwork in my life, but God has given me a joy for it that I was not expecting. I have learned so much over the years and there is still so much learning ahead. But I love it when I can just be with the girls under our care, weather its doing an activity such as baking or having chats and laughing together. Nestor Loves his work, he is so passionate and is excited to go to work every day and work so closely with the word of God. He says is feels like seminary as he is learning so much about the Bible and its meaning during the translating process. It truly is a fascinating process. I have learned so much just from observing him.
(the picture below is when I made some custard tarts with a few of the girls at the ministry)
We both work full weeks. Accepting that I am not a stay at home mom, I will admit brought on some guilt. I had always imagined being a stay at home mom, barefoot and pregnant kind of thing. But God Brought Nestor and I here, inserted in two different mission ministries full time. And God is providing, we are so rich in people and family who come to our aid to help us raise our family. We thank the Lord for my sister in law Jackie who cares for Joshua while I work. The wonderful thing is that I have been able to bring Joshua with me to the ministry where I can continue to nurse him while Jackie babysits him. I am so thankful that the time he is not with us he is with trusted family. Being a first time mom and learning how to live in another culture, I am more than happy to have my husband's family help me raise my children.
 |
| Joshua with his aunty Jackie and his Lola (Grandma) |
 |
| Joshua playing with his cousins |
As the time to wean Joshua approaches, we plan to transition to taking Joshua to our family's village where everyone can help care for him. There he can play with his cousins and really absorb the languages. It truly takes a village! My mother's heart is dreading this a little, knowing he won't be just nearby or coming to me every few hours to nurse. But I am glad he gets to be with his grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins, and embrace the joy of village life.
Parenting with two different cultures is a learning curve. I have had many moments where I am certain I am parenting wrong, thinking "my mom didn't do this?" or "I don't remember hearing parents talk about this challenge" . But my situation is very different than my mom's or my aunts or my sisters or other mothers I knew growing up, because I live in a different country and am married to a man of the Philippines. I grew up with one parenting worldview and Nestor and his family another. This creates some very interesting dynamics and adjustments for both of us. We need to decide which customs we use and which ones we adjust. For example The Canadian style of parenting is often focused more on independence, such as giving your children their own room, but houses are bigger in Canada, we don't have extra rooms in our house, and with concerns about break ins or being bitten by cockroaches we don't feel comfortable having him on his own anyway. The Kalingan parenting is a more interdependent approach, contact naps and not leaving babies alone for long periods, but often you all live together with your family, everyone helping to raise your children, but Nestor and I live on our own, our relatives a 45 minute drive away. So we make adjustments, we learn to create our own routines to accommodate what works for our family culture.
 |
| Joshua's first Tim Hortons while in Manila for immigration |
Its difficult to define what kind of culture our family is, is it Canadian? is it Kalingan? let alone to find resources on it. Joshua is a missionary kid but not in the traditional sense. Traditionally Missionary Kids are assumed to be children raised by two westerners in a culture not their own. But Although both Nestor and I are missionaries, I am the only "westerner" in the family. Both Joshua's parents (Nestor and I) come from separate cultures, but the culture our son is being raised in is his father's. Its closer to an immigration situation except that doesn't quite fit either as I need to have one foot in Canada because of my connection to our supporters. So we are left in this kind of in between, a family culture that is difficult to define. Together Nestor and I work to navigate parenting and culture. I am learning about raising children the Kalingan way, because we live in Kalinga and there our resources and circumstances that are different. Who knew resources had so much to do with raising children!? not having cribs or high chairs changes the way children are carried and transported, not having carpets changes how comfortable you are leaving your child alone in another room, or the simple fact of living in a smaller house. So we learn as we go, we ask questions, we adjust, we recalculate. However one thing both our cultures agree on, raising Joshua with Biblical principle. No matter what adjustments are made, this will always be the foundation. And prayer...lots and lots of prayer, because I know we will NEVER be perfect parents, thank goodness Joshua has a perfect Heavenly Father.
Its only just now that the "parenting" I feel is starting. Everyone in the early days asked me "how do you like being a mom?"
"Its great" I would say but I was also thinking, that I have not really done much parenting yet. Those first few months were mainly focused on keeping him alive and well while loving him more and more each day. I remember that first night after Joshua was born, sleeping in the clinic. I barely slept as I kept suddenly waking up to make sure he was still breathing. The next few months when we brought him home, I was terrified of SIDs I fussed with his beddings making sure the firmness was just right, and I would often put my hand on his stomach throughout the night to assure myself he was breathing well. When we got to 6 months I felt like I could breath easier, We had made it to 6 months and he was alive and healthy! I always thought that 6 month birthdays for babies were so silly but I get it now, its not for the baby, its for the parents, "6 months of being parents and we haven't dramatically messed up or dropped him!!! Bring on the cake!!"
Now that Joshua is crawling everywhere and really developing his personality the time has come. That moment; the moment I was expecting, and kind of dreading at the same time, the first time you have to say "No". Somehow I had it in my head that, that is when parenting was really going to kick in, The time we begin helping him make good decisions, and guiding him towards the right paths (we hope and pray) from not touching hot stoves to guiding him to the best college courses, somehow that seems to coincide with the word "No". Joshua trying to plug something in "No" we say firmly followed by a whimper and a cry, Joshua trying to put his fingers into the fan, a big "No" more crying and whimpering. and so it begins.....
So life continues, seasons change, summer (Hottest season) runs into rainy season (Hot season) which runs into typhoon seasons or the "ber" months (lesser hot season) and Christmas, I always love Christmas, no matter where I am, and we already have our tree up and preparing for more Christmas lights (Christmas starts early here, much to me joy). Joshua's first Birthday is next month and we are planning a celebration of some kind, its hard to believe it has been a year since he came into this world! We thank you all for your prayers for our family, God is good and He is our strength!
Well that's all from the good Aggs for now, until next time....
